Tantrum In Your Toddler? How To Calm Him Down
Terrible twos? Tantrums in your toddler? You have probably experienced it. Imagine that your toddler lets loose and you have a full blown tantrum on your hands. How do you react? How to calm him down?
What are the reasons that your child has a tantrum?
Is it when he wants something he can’t have?
Or is he frustrated when he can’t express what he wants to say and you simply don’t understand him?
Adding to the frustration are siblings vying for your attention and toddler gets lost in the shuffle.
Yael, a student of The Listening Touch, often notices when her son is about to throw a tantrum because he recognises that he cannot get the right sounding words out of his mouth. In other instances the words sound clear to him since he knows exactly what he’s saying but his mom doesn’t have a clue!
Before Gilad’s frustration sets in, Yael picks him up and puts him on her lap, his front melding into her chest. She surrounds him with her arms, placing her hands on his back. The hands can be placed anywhere from his tailbone to the upper back and neck. These positions are soothing and create a feeling of wellbeing. Mom’s surrounding arms and hands on her toddler’s back, provide him a safe space and time to rebalance. He feels rejuvenated and relaxed and is willing to start all over again.
When your toddler throws a tantrum for whatever reason, pick him up and gently surround him with your arms, placing your hands anywhere along his back, wherever your hands may rest themselves. Breathe deeply. Allow your calm to flow through him. Feel him slowly relax and meld into you. Stay this way, until he is ready to get up.
Yael relates her experiences:
When I hold Gilad for those few minutes, I feel like it brings all the negative energy back down to zero, all the frustration is diffused and we can start again
I try to focus my intention on connecting with him, being present with him. He feels that intention. After a few minutes of quiet connection he is much calmer. He may try to say the word again, but even if I still can’t understand him or if I can’t or won’t give him what he wants, he’s much more willing to accept what I am offering, because he’s in a much calmer state.
Usually your toddler will want your arms around him, especially before his tantrum becomes full blown. At other times or with different children, he will not want to be held. If it is possible to reach his back when he is on the floor or facing away from you, gently reach out. Otherwise, rest your hand wherever it is possible, on his leg or arm. If you’re not actually touching, that is fine, the hand is held slightly above the area. You can still calm your toddler without actually touching him. You may feel heat or a buzzing sensation come into your hand.
When your toddler throws a tantrum and you want to calm him down, concentrate on letting calm flow into him. This will not be easy, but hang in there!
To learn more, watch my video Tantrum In Your Toddler? How To Calm Him Down.
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